The enchantment of being human? Isn’t that an oxymoron? What is so enchanting or magical about being human and being here on this earth?
This past month I have been exploring that while being confronted with my own disillusionment of humanity. In church, I have been disillusioned with the ministry leadership not embodying the “Unity” principles, but instead, fighting and diminishing each other, while enrolling the congregation to take sides and do the same. In my son’s previous school, I have been disillusioned with the Waldorf teachers not embodying the “Waldorf” principles of “holding each child whole and complete”, but instead overreacting, taking sides, finding blame and passing judgment on the children and on the parents as well. My disillusionment is not from seeing people’s humanity, but more from seeing the lack of embodiment in the people holding leadership positions – the ministers and teachers who have already been “awakened” by a formalized “training” from these “established” organizations. As I observed their behavior, I realized that the deeper message of the “Unity” or the “Waldorf” philosophies is not being embodied, and certainly not being manifested. The ministers, chaplains and teachers that have been thru the training, were behaving, at times, no differently than any other human being that hasn’t been thru any of these “awakening” programs. Yet, when I read the Unity or Waldorf philosophies and their principles, they speak and reflect Truth to me. But reading is not embodying – and that is the difference.
So, what is missing? What can be added that would have human beings be or embody the principles that speak Truth, from the inside out, so that an innate transformation takes place – a metamorphoses – that would have us know the choices to make and actions to take from a deeper place of knowing intimacy, security, collaboration, reciprocity and unity from inside of ourselves, so that we know how to be stewards and guardians of each other and of this earth?
Safety, security, abundance and intimacy, are all basic human needs that we all innately have a sense of from within – unless, there were experiences in our childhood, that from our perception, threatened our sense of safety, security, abundance and intimacy. If these experiences are still unprocessed or incomplete for us, we will be “triggered” by current circumstances in our lives and re-live these past experiences like they are happening in present moment, except with different characters. Yet, when this happens, we won’t even know it – because we will be “in reaction” to a present moment situation from a place of feeling triggered or “threatened” from our past. This becomes a visceral body reaction that we won’t have control over, unless we are present to the feelings that are behind it within our bodies.
So how do we we finally process these past experiences so that we are present and available for each moment right now – with ourselves, with our children, and with other human beings – without “overreacting” from our past?
By staying away from pointing the finger outward, and pointing it inward instead. In other words, by doing your own inner work. The only work we are here to do is to own our humanity (our human attributes) and to own our divinity (our divine attributes) – only then can we own our Divine Existence and Divine Purpose to fulfill on our Divine Prophecy on this earth.
So, as I was confronting my own “disillusionment” with the Unity ministry and Waldorf teachers, I realized that I wasn’t embodying what I was preaching. I wasn’t doing my own inner work. So, I allowed my self to be with my own staging of each circumstance and the emotions behind them. As I held a safe space for my self to embrace the feelings in my body that were hidden deep inside me, I felt a transformation from the inside out. My body found its new range of motion and reclaimed its freedom. I sensed an integration, elongation, and a radiation of my being.
After doing my own inner work, I realized the circumstances with the church and the schools, were blessings in disguise. They were actually perfect opportunities for me to own something within my self and to experience my own physical and energetic transformation. I honored my own being by “using” each circumstance in my life for my own inner work. From this inner work, I now have a deeper knowing of my worth as priceless, and of my wholeness as complete.