5 Steps to Inspire True Collaboration

What is true collaboration? And is this actually possible in the workplace, especially when each person may have a milieu of subconscious emotions, feelings, perceptions and behaviors that they may not be aware of ?

True collaboration occurs when people work together, without any hidden agendas, to manifest a common greater vision. It is possible, yet it requires a continuous conscious intention, as well as a level of trust, respect, intimacy and authenticity within the group.

The reality is that most of us default to subconscious behaviors that keep us safe and secured. Thus, having trust, respect, intimacy and authenticity within a group may not be totally accessible to us. So how do we create a true collaborative environment?

It starts with the leader within you – by modeling the behavior and establishing the agreements that will inspire you to consciously create a collaborative environment.

Here are my top 5 agreements that I’ve found successful in creating this environment and that I suggest my partners to uphold:

1) Be the model of behavior for how you’d like people to behave with you. Be curious about each person. Be willing to receive and listen to them. Be willing to honor and respect them.

2) Bring conscious choice of intention and collaboration.  Before you act or say something, ask yourself what is the intention behind your action and will the action support the environment for true collaboration. If not, notice what the action would feed in you and explore how you can meet this need in your own way that doesn’t require this group.

3) Be aware of what you are really creating and how will it benefit you and the group. Notice your thoughts and behaviors. Consider that whatever shows up in front of you, is what you are really creating. If this is not what you want to create, then notice how you got there and what actions you took to create that. No thing is a coincidence and no one is a victim of circumstance. We are powerful beings that create every thing that’s within us and in front of us.

4) Be genuine and authentic by being self accountable and transparent about your feelings with empathy and compassion. If you are triggered by someone, be willing to disagree without projecting your emotional milieu. Step away, feel your feelings and be willing to come back and communicate your position, without the emotions, but with empathy and compassion.

  • Use “I” statements when expressing your feelings.
  • Stick to the facts and stay away from assuming how other people feel.
  • Notice your perceptions and what you say about others. Consider this is a reflection of how you subconsciously feel about your self.

5) See the meetings and conversations as an opportunity to learn about how you relate to others, develop intimacy and work collaboratively.

True collaboration may not be as easy but it’s worth the investment to see the magic happen – when everyone truly evolves and something much greater is co-created.

Reclaiming Our True Nature : The Authentic Feminine & Masculine

If we had a pendulum that would show the lightness and darkness within our humanity, or the light and shadow areas in our subconscious, the pendulum would be swinging really high right now to such a place of incongruency that it would seem quite disheartening.  Yet if you are in a state of consciousness, you would know that this is an incredible opportunity for healing.

What do I mean?

Well, if we look at what is happening in our society right now – whether it’s about the CDC (Center for Disease Control) selling out to pharmaceutical giants and approving vaccinations that are harmful to children, or whether it’s about corrupted politicians getting corporate payoffs and passing bills that undermine the overall well-being of society, or whether it’s about policemen or college freshmen feeling entitled, from a delusional place of power, to abuse other civilians – All these news shows the thread of our humanity’s shadow getting darker and darker from moment to moment.  Yet the darker the moment, the greater the possibility we have for awakening ourselves to a higher place of consciousness, where we can make life-giving choices that benefit all beings.

There is an energetic paradigm shift that is happening within our minds and bodies – and it is about achieving a complete harmony and balance of the energies within ourselves – the yin and yang energies, the divine feminine and sacred masculine energies, that are part of everything in Creation.  These energies are necessary for us to have in harmony within ourselves, as without them in balance, we as a humanity cannot reach our full potential – a state of peace, intimacy and prosperity.

This is an exciting time and a critical one for our humanity, as this is the 1st time we have the consciousness to create this harmonious balance that will take us to the next level of Divineness, that will birth authorship and stewardship of this planet.

As the Dalai Lama has said, this process begins with us women, by reclaiming our sacred masculine energy 1st to birth the divine feminine energy within ourselves.  Only then, we women will create a space, an opening for the sacred masculine to be embraced and be birthed within our men.  Why does it start with us women? and why reclaim the sacred masculine first?

The Divine Feminine – the all knowing, compassionate, forgiving, loving energy – can only be birthed from a container that can authentically support it.  This container is the essence of the Sacred Masculine.  The sacred masculine energy forms the vessel for the divine feminine – the fruit – to flower.  The sacred masculine is similar to the branch of a tree or the stem of a flower – without it, there is no structure for the seed – the feminine – to be supported, develop and grow.

So how do us women start reclaiming our sacred masculine energy?  We start by transforming the inauthentic images we have of men.  Only then, we can embrace the sacred masculine energy within ourselves.  This is a critical step as it is the masculine energy that allows us women to be and show up in a sacred way that’s aligned with our highest Self.  It is the masculine energy within us that has us take a stand for what we want to see in the world.  It is the masculine energy within us that gives us the courage to step into someplace greater than ourselves.  It is the masculine energy within us that gives us the strength to hold our stance/boundaries in space and time when we are scared.  It is the masculine energy within us that is the container, the structure, the vessel for the Spirit, the Light to be birthed within ourselves.  It is the sacred masculine that must be awakened within us first for the divine feminine to be birthed and for subsequent change to occur.

As women, we want aggression, violence and war to end.  We want authenticity and transparency from our leaders.  We want respect and reverence from the men in our lives.  We want a loving and kind world for our children. We want a new humanity now that is a stewardship for this planet.  As women, we are at the source of all of this. We can make this happen.  We are the only ones that can.  It starts with each one of us women doing our own inner work – shifting our paradigm – shifting our perception of how we see the masculine in our lives – so that we see its real beauty and grace, its strength and courage, its alignment &  rootedness – so that we women can then embrace all this beauty, grace, strength, courage, alignment and rootedness within ourselves.  Then, and only then, we will see and embrace all the beauty, grace, strength, courage, alignment and rootedness in the men in our lives and in our world – and celebrate it, so that we birth a divine feminine that is an intuitiveness, a knowing of highest consciousness, that guides our humanity into an authorship and stewardship of a thriving planet for all beings.

As women, we have to remember that man is just one representation of the masculine energy. It’s not the totality of it.  Yet, over the past generations, we have collapsed our distorted perceptions of men with the authentic masculine energy that contains creation…. to the point we can’t discern which one is our perceived illusion and which one is real; which one harmed us and which one created us; which one we protect ourselves from, and which one we need to embrace….

As women, throughout our generation, our mother’s generation, our grandmother’s generation, our great-grandmother’s generation,  and even further back in time….. we have been subconsciously “protecting” ourselves by avoiding, suppressing, diminishing and even annihilating the masculine energy, in the hope that we, women, the feminine can survive.  Yet, thru our own quest for survival, we have unknowingly been avoiding, suppressing, diminishing and even annihilating a part of ourselves – our own God given energy – the sacred masculine – that we desperately need within us, flowing thru us, to stand as a whole complete human goddess on this earth, with divine existence and purpose.

The divine feminine and the sacred masculine energies are two sides of the same coin, and as we avoid, suppress, diminish or annihilate one, we unknowingly do the same to the other.  These energies are interdependent on one another and are both critical to our human survival.   They are the yin and yang.  They are the “she” and “he” that unite to birth the “son” – the triune – that births Creation.  Without one, there is no other, there is no third, there is no existence, there is no purpose, there is no Creation.

Thus, it is up to us women to birth a different reality – to shift this distorted images within ourselves so that a new balanced humanity can be birthed.  As we shift our sacred container, we will rebirth Creation and birth what we real-ly want to see in the world.

The time is NOW.  We must go within, unveil the distorted pictures of the masculine that we have from our past, transform them, and replace them with the authentic images found in nature.  At this point, nature is the most authentic landscape to see the real embodiment of the sacred masculine and divine feminine.

So, I am inviting all women to join me in this shift and create a harmony and balance of these energies within ourselves NOW, so that as a collective we birth the conscious humanity that will be the stewardship for a peacefulloving, prosperous planet for all beings!

For current individual and group programs to support this paradigm shift, please sign up with your email and stay tuned for individual programs, groups & workshops coming soon!

 

Parenting from a Real place

I woke up feeling sad about my son and the evening we had last night.  We both went to sleep upset without talking to each other. I felt like he disrespected me by cutting me off, yelling at me, and slamming the doors.  He seemed angry and confused, and I couldn’t understand why.  I was totally disappointed at him for ruining our evening.  I just wanted him to take responsibility for leaving the lights on and his coat out, and he deflected the whole issue by saying that I was blaming him for things he didn’t do.  I was trying to be patient by keeping my cool and letting him know that it had nothing to do with blaming him but with him owning what he didn’t do.  It didn’t work.  The more I tried to explain, the sassier he got, until I sent him to his room.  However, the sassiness didn’t stop there. No000.  He just kept screaming behind the closed door, until I told him to zip it, otherwise he would have his play date taken away. This situation was out of control.

Yet when I chose to step away into my sunroom, I paused.  I became in touch with what is sacred, what is real …. and then I smiled. I realized that what is real-ly sacred is not my feelings. My feelings are part of the drama. What is really sacred is life…. the bare trees, the brown leaves, the spare grass, the blue sky…. all that is around me.  It is then that I realized that I get to describe what I see from where I stand, and that things can be described in very different ways…., depending on where I stand.

If I stand where I see life being sacred, beautiful, fun, loving and peaceful, then that is where I choose to see things from. However, if I stand where I see life being hard, sad, a fight, a struggle, right, wrong…, then that is where I choose to see things from.  This is not the way it is.  This is just the point of view I choose to see.  This is not right nor wrong. This is the paradigm I adopted early on from my childhood models.  This is the thread of my humanity. This is what makes me human.

Yet, it is by continuously embracing my humanity, that I am more in touch with my own divinity – what makes me real.  With this awareness, I now open the possibility for me to choose to transform my paradigm of seeing things at any moment in time – for that I am extremely grateful.  Thank you Divine Spirit of mine ;)))

From this place of being grateful and connected to what is real, I chose to walk into my son’s room.  He was awake and I asked him if we could chat.  He said yes.  I said that I was so sorry for yelling at him last night and that I was sorry he felt blamed – that was not my intention.  I explained that I had gotten upset and frustrated because he had forgotten to pick up his coat and shut the lights off.  However, instead of pausing and feeling what I was real-ly upset about, I projected my anger towards him, and for that I was really sorry.  I guessed that the impact of my behavior on him was that he felt hurt, diminished, scared and possibly even terrified and ashamed.  I asked him if he disagreed or if there was anything else he wanted to add, and he said no.  I said that I was committed to speaking to him from a place of the heart, where I real-ly see him. When I’m not in that place, I commit to taking a pause and even stepping away if necessary before I speak to him.  I asked him if he can forgive me…. and he said yes and gave me a big hug.  I asked him if there was anything he’d like to say.  He said he was sorry for yelling back and being sassy.  He felt hurt, scared and did not know what else to do.  Then he felt blamed and angry and then wanted to hurt back. At that point I hugged him some more and said I’m sorry.  We hugged for a little while.  My heart was full 🙂

The Paradigm Shift : See…ing My Self

I am in this strange place of feeling like I’m in between two worlds – having one foot inside one world and the other foot inside another world, watching both worlds at the same time. I know this may sound weird, but bear with me……what will show up will be fascinating and transformational.

In one world, I am looking at my 10 yr old son, who is crying and yelling at me : “You always blame me for every thing! You never do any thing wrong! It always has to go your way!”.  Then, I am watching myself frustrated, responding to him abruptly, yelling back at him : “That is so not true! Most things actually go your way! You just doesn’t realize it! You are not grateful for what you get, and that is soooo not ok! “. He then proceeds to run into his room and slam the door.  I am left angry and frustrated with a desire to run after him and strangle him.

In another world, I am looking at my 10 yr old son, who is crying and yelling at me : “You always blame me for every thing! You never do any thing wrong! It always has to go your way!” Then, I am watching myself, taking a deep breath, looking at him with the eyes of a child, asking him : “How am I blaming you? I don’t know how I did that. Can you tell me ?” He immediately calms down and says “I am not sure.” I start tossing out ideas : “Was it my tone? Was it the words I said?” He says :”I think it’s your tone… it makes me feel small…” . I take another deep breath and feel into what he just said. I pause. All of a sudden, I get this surge of emotions & feelings of sadness. I start crying, and the tears don’t seem to end….I realize that that is how I felt as a child – always being blamed and shamed for something that I never even realized I did. At this point, my son comes near me and says : “Why are you crying ?”. I say : “I am so sorry Johannes…., I just realized that how you are feeling now is how I felt as a child when my dad spoke to me…. and that somehow I speaking to you in the same way.” He says : “It’s ok mama.” I say : “It’s not ok honey. It’s not ok for anyone to talk to you this way – including mommy”. I look into his eyes and say “I don’t want you to feel blamed and shamed for stuff that is not even yours – for stuff you didn’t even do. Somehow I automatically presume that you are going to do something wrong and when something shows up, I am already blaming you without even talking to you. I am so sorry. As of right now, I am committed to not blaming or shaming you for anything. I promise you that I will go inward and transform whatever is causing this, so that it doesn’t get in the way of me seeing who you really are.” He says : “Ok”. I say : “Can you forgive me?” He says : “Yes.” I say : “Ok. I forgive my self too”. “Can I give you a hug and start over again?”. He says : “Ok”. We hug and recreate the conversation from a place of awareness and presence, while I pay special attention to what is happening inside of me – my feelings, my thoughts, my tone, my voice…

So what did I just experience? What is this all about? Well, I’ll do my best to describe what is.

The first world showed the way I have been reacting to my son’s behavior. It showed up in my mind as a well used, familiar road – one that I have taken before many times and was sure of where it was going to lead me. The second world showed a different possibility -one that I had not yet taken. It showed up in my mind as a new, unfamiliar road – one that I was curious about taking and yet unsure of where it was going to lead me. They both showed up almost at the same time, one right after the other, with a slight pause in between. This pause was like the space in a fork where two roads meet and where I can see where the two roads lead.

Although the situation was happening extremely fast in real time, the pause was big enough to slow down my reactions, so that I could choose which world I wanted to be in. So I chose the alternative possibility – an unknown… a road not traveled – which opened up a space within me to perceive a new vision of what is possible and who I am being in that possibility.

This is the experience of a paradigm shift – a shift in perception of how you see the world and how you be with others, when you are willing to be led thru an unknown road. This shift is experienced within mind and body, and it is transformational. It will transform your relationships, circumstances, and life overall. It will leave you empowered, embodied, and enlightened, to make the choices that will create the life you really desire.

Since then, I have unveiled more of this blaming behavior, and it’s become very clear that it shows up when I’ve lost my grounding, I’m feeling out of control, and I’m scared of being rejected.

Now, I see the pattern – the thoughts, the voices, and the shape in my body that supports this blaming reaction. I can catch it early enough and shift it – choose to step into a different possibility, so that I can create a different outcome – a loving relationship with my son. Now, I don’t feel powerless, angry or defensive. I feel grounded to the earth, rooted in my body, and connected to my Spirit. Now I feel a freedom within my self from a bondage I never even knew I had. Thank you Spirit for showing me this possibility. I have eternal gratitude.

If you are interested in experiencing this paradigm shift in your own life, contact me directly to discuss your specific situation and find out how this psychosomatic work can help you.